Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Lest you think it is all sunshine and roses at my house

Visit others who are choosing to live well here

I don't want you to get the wrong idea, so here is the rest of the story.

Some weeks I just dont have anything good to report. Weight loss is a struggle for me, too. I have a lot of problems with it. I don't always do and eat great, healthy and inspiring things.

I think one of my biggest problems is that I have tasted success in the past in a big way. I went from a size 16 to a size 10.


I joined Weight Watchers in January 2005, five months before my wedding, and it worked well for me. I have always been one that needed organization and a structured environment, like a five year old, I do well on a short leash.

Did you know that the bridal boutiques make you sign a waiver if you order a gown too small, acknowledging that the professionals told you it was not a good idea, so when your dress doesn't fit two weeks before your wedding, you have no one to blame but yourself?

I signed that waiver.

I ordered my wedding dress two sizes too small.

Then I had to have it further taken in before the wedding. I should have ordered it three sizes too small. That's how much weight I lost.

I have a lot that I contribute the success to, a secretary where I worked was already a member and it was easier and more fun to do it with her, I became good friends with my WW meeting leader and I really liked her and found her inspiring (but she has since moved away), and I had a lot of motivation in the form of a strapless dress two sizes too small.

Today, I don't have any of those factors in my life.

I don't have a whole lot of weight to lose, there is no deadline and no one will really notice if I lose the weight or not.

Today, I am a size 12. I have about 7 pounds I would like to lose, just to be able to wear all the clothes in my closet. Although working clothes are a big investment and its important that I get back into them comfortably, its not as exciting as getting into a wedding gown. and I have no deadline.

Realizing I needed the structured environment, I joined WW again in January with a goal of losing eight pounds. In the last six months, I lost five pounds, and then gained five pounds, so I am exactly in the same spot I was six months ago. Its a little depressing.

At the WW meeting this week, the leader was asking for tips and strategies to help you when you really want a piece of cake... my advice was to just plan ahead and have a piece each week- but only one piece a week, not one piece a day, like I am doing. She looked horrified and then said, "you mean one piece a month, don't you?" That is obviously my problem, because, no, I meant one piece a week, which I thought was extreme deprivation, as I am currently having some kind of dessert everyday. I'm serious.

Its so depressing that earlier this week I told my husband I was going to quit WW. I am so quick to quit. I told him all the reasons. I told him about the money I spent on the monthly pass for the meetings, the time, energy and gas money I was spending going to the meetings (and even looking for another one I liked better) and how it was all a big waste because in the last six months, I am exactly the same weight.... I gave him the whole sad story expecting him to agree with me and give me a partner in my weight loss pity party.

He listened patiently... not really, he was in the middle of doing something else, and I was pretty sure he wasn't listening at all.... until he said, "How much would you have gained if you were not on WW this past six months? It seems like its worth it even if all you do is maintain. I think you should stay with it. What's it hurting? You are maintaining."

So I guess the bigger picture is that this week, the worst thing I have to report is that I am maintaining, that I seriously considered quitting WW and giving up any weight loss goals, but did not, and instead of going to $.99 one scoop night at Baskin Robbins tonight, I had a Skinny Cow Skinny Dipping ice cream for 1 point and it was so darn tasty- I forgot all about Baskin Robbins.


Darlene said...

Keep pressing forward. I have joined WW several times and lost the same 10 lbs plus several times. I understand how frustrating it can be. My friends daughter is getting married in Aug. You would think this would motivate me to loose weight. Instead I feel depressed and down that I want succeed by the wedding time. Thanks for encourageing me not to give up to keep pressing forward!

ValleyGirl said...

OH.MY.GOODNESS ~ it's like looking in a mirror!!!! Other than me having more than 7 pounds to lose, you and I are identical, I think!

I totally understand not really being motivated enough or having nothing to keep me going, which is why this time I determined my goal would be different. My goal is not actually to lose weight; my goal is to be healthy, to know I'm setting a better example for my girls, to balance how and what I eat with how active I've been, to know I'm doing right by me and treating my body with the respect that I should treat uniquely designed, hand-made original by God.

Right now, it's "all roses" for me, I'm excited about it and it's working for me, but I know there will be weeks when I'm behaving and the scale doesn't move (or worse, it will move in the wrong direction!) and I'll get discouraged. And that's when I'll look to someone else who's motivated for inspiration.

WE.CAN.DO.THIS!! ~ especially if we stick together.

I'm cheerin' for ya!!

Love Bears All Things said...

I agree with your husband. Look at where you are and where you might have been. And having been a WW employee, I have to say that the leader was wrong. Maybe she was thinking it was bad advice for those with a lot of weight to lose, but the truth is you can have your cake or anything else on WW as long as you plan for it. That is why it works. You don't have to eat prepared meals or give up all carbs etc. You just figure the points for the foods you eat and learn to prepare some a different and healthy way. Figure out the points for the piece of cake and plan your other choices around it. Please don't give up. You are doing great!! You said you didn't have a goal like getting into a wedding dress. The goal is to live healthy and not have the illnesses that accompany obesity. I sometimes grimace at the thought of what I would weigh if I just gave up for good.
Mama Bear

ET said...

I am soooo with you, my friend! My WW success was with the goal of going to the Dominican Repulic and wearing a bikini. Did it! Had a baby. Gained way too much. Got 15-20 lbs clinging tightly to me. And my motivation stinks!

Why don't you come to Canada for a couple months and we can do WW together? :)

Oh, and I think a piece of cake a week is just fine, too. As long as you're planning for it. You're doing great! (Currently, I'm having dessert a couple times per day, lol.)

Denise said...

I know this journey is not always easy, but it is so worth it. Hang in there sweetie, you can do this.

Lawanda said...

Awww. I am glad you enjoyed your substitute! Makes it not seem like a sub when that happens!

I currently have one dessert a day too. Or more. Right now, while I am on track losing weight, my desserts are Fiber One Granola bars and WW ice creams.

I would definitely feel deprived if I did not eat something chocolaty and sweet every day.

When I was on WW the first time, I lost 35 pounds. Then I got pregnant. I went back on WW when my baby was 5 months or so old. I only had 12 pounds to lose. I lost 9. Then I ended up quitting because I could not afford it.

FF to now. I rejoined because I had gained back EVERY bit of my weight!!

And now I am losing again. I don't think I was motivated to lose *just* 4 more pounds... I had to get back to the beginning for some reason :(

I love the accountability at WW. And the motivation to MOVE MORE :)

I wasn't moving much at all before. Now I am, and that is the key to my success I know :)

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted you to know you are not alone :)

Cookingmama said...

I here you. I tried Jenny Craig because I needed more accountability but I want to be a better steward of my money and I think I am going to switch back to Weight Watchers. I lost 10 pounds on Jenny and am afraid I will gain it all back.