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I don't want you to get the wrong idea, so here is the rest of the story.
Some weeks I just dont have anything good to report. Weight loss is a struggle for me, too. I have a lot of problems with it. I don't always do and eat great, healthy and inspiring things.
I think one of my biggest problems is that I have tasted success in the past in a big way. I went from a size 16 to a size 10.
I joined Weight Watchers in January 2005, five months before my wedding, and it worked well for me. I have always been one that needed organization and a structured environment, like a five year old, I do well on a short leash.
Did you know that the bridal boutiques make you sign a waiver if you order a gown too small, acknowledging that the professionals told you it was not a good idea, so when your dress doesn't fit two weeks before your wedding, you have no one to blame but yourself?
I signed that waiver.
I ordered my wedding dress two sizes too small.
Then I had to have it further taken in before the wedding. I should have ordered it three sizes too small. That's how much weight I lost.
I have a lot that I contribute the success to, a secretary where I worked was already a member and it was easier and more fun to do it with her, I became good friends with my WW meeting leader and I really liked her and found her inspiring (but she has since moved away), and I had a lot of motivation in the form of a strapless dress two sizes too small.
Today, I don't have any of those factors in my life.
I don't have a whole lot of weight to lose, there is no deadline and no one will really notice if I lose the weight or not.
Today, I am a size 12. I have about 7 pounds I would like to lose, just to be able to wear all the clothes in my closet. Although working clothes are a big investment and its important that I get back into them comfortably, its not as exciting as getting into a wedding gown. and I have no deadline.
Realizing I needed the structured environment, I joined WW again in January with a goal of losing eight pounds. In the last six months, I lost five pounds, and then gained five pounds, so I am exactly in the same spot I was six months ago. Its a little depressing.
At the WW meeting this week, the leader was asking for tips and strategies to help you when you really want a piece of cake... my advice was to just plan ahead and have a piece each week- but only one piece a week, not one piece a day, like I am doing. She looked horrified and then said, "you mean one piece a month, don't you?" That is obviously my problem, because, no, I meant one piece a week, which I thought was extreme deprivation, as I am currently having some kind of dessert everyday. I'm serious.
Its so depressing that earlier this week I told my husband I was going to quit WW. I am so quick to quit. I told him all the reasons. I told him about the money I spent on the monthly pass for the meetings, the time, energy and gas money I was spending going to the meetings (and even looking for another one I liked better) and how it was all a big waste because in the last six months, I am exactly the same weight.... I gave him the whole sad story expecting him to agree with me and give me a partner in my weight loss pity party.
He listened patiently... not really, he was in the middle of doing something else, and I was pretty sure he wasn't listening at all.... until he said, "How much would you have gained if you were not on WW this past six months? It seems like its worth it even if all you do is maintain. I think you should stay with it. What's it hurting? You are maintaining."
So I guess the bigger picture is that this week, the worst thing I have to report is that I am maintaining, that I seriously considered quitting WW and giving up any weight loss goals, but did not, and instead of going to $.99 one scoop night at Baskin Robbins tonight, I had a Skinny Cow Skinny Dipping ice cream for 1 point and it was so darn tasty- I forgot all about Baskin Robbins.